Most folks are as happy… – Abraham Lincoln

A Pondering Mind

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

– Abraham Lincoln

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Respect Her in Order to Receive the Respect You Assume You Deserve 

Written by Dee  ‘Mz DeeVa’ Shields, Author of ‘Reasons He Dates Plus Size’.

Alright men, how often do you hear constant nagging due to the mistakes that you are fully aware that you are making?

Are you repeating a certain  level of disrespectful behavior week after week?
Without getting your act together  and presenting  to her the best man that you can be, why do you feel your lady should respect  you more?
Gone are days where women submit to any and all levels of foolishness. With Life Coaches popping up in every neighborhood, women are waking up to the type of relationships they deserve. Needless to say, when they see you constantly  lacking  in key areas, they are speaking  up.
You receive their new awareness as disrespect because  you have been taught that they should remain quiet and let you ‘be a man’.
Well erase that cave man process.
Treat women as they deserve  to be treated.
Stop playing  your high school  dating games and acting out marriages you see on dysfunctional movies.
If you want to get Respect,  it is past time that you give it to her! 

In turn a good woman will treat you as you have shown her you deserve to  be treated.

You know the saying, ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life‘!
Put an end to your endless games and treat that woman  right!

~ Follow mz DeeVa on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook via @mzDeeVa4you #askDeeVa ~

‘Be Kind’ …Easy to Say, Yet Challenging to do in the Heat of the Moment… 

Be Kind we are told.
Respond in Love they say.

Turn the other cheek our elders taught us.

“When they go low, you go high.” says Former First Lady Michelle Obama to the masses. 

With passion at a 2016 Democratic Convention, Mrs. Obama shared how she teams up with her husband, President Barack Obama, to instill in her children the best response to verbal negative attacks…

“…when someone is cruel or acts like a bully you don’t stoop to their level. No, our motto is: when they go low, we go high…”

That is easy to say Mrs. Obama our Queen, yet indeed challenging to do in the heat of the moment!

Have you ever noticed that a cheating lover or spouse, or a messy friend or family member, will have the most untimely moment when their wrongdoing and hateful behavior is revealed?!

Or have you noticed that times of racial tension, across our nation, usually hits each American without so much as a 15 minute warning?! 

In order to operate in the essence of being kind, or going high when they go low, many of us passionate folks out there will need a HUGE 3 DAY WARNING (at least!!) in order to fully prepare our minds to be rational, kind and respond in Love while under the attack of hurtful relationship behavior, messy gossip or hateful racist bigotry!! 

Do you comprehend the behavior of passionate people? Passionate people are most often the guilty persons who ‘go LOW’, when low acting people, relentlessly provoke them! 

An Elite Daily article says, 

Passionate people lead significantly different lives from their less-than-enthusiastic counterparts.”

Do you comprehend at least that? Passionate people do NOT respond how others respond!! 

Now although a well-learned passionate individual fully understands the importance of daily work at meditation, self-care and counseling for mental strength, it doesn’t mean that heated moments will not sometimes get the best of them!! 

Passionate people fully grasp that perfection is a state of mind and NOT reality.

Passionate people prepare for possible dark life moments by expecting the worse and the sigh of relief when the day ends at their best!!

Passionate people are capable of holding their own and owning their bad moments. 

Passionate people are to be admired in the resilient lives that they live daily. 

So yes…Be Kind

It works for some to hold in their real emotions and put on a facade of Love and Happiness for all each day….and then there are passionate people, those who many of you count on to be the FACE of ‘Tell it Like It T-I-Is!!’ …people who are just as kind and loving as you are, yet they are willing to go to Verbal war when buttons are pushed because they have MASTERED the art of forgiving themselves when they go one, two or ONE HUNDRED words past what opinionated folks in society feel that they should have said!!! 

So yassss, Be Kind my Passionate sister and brotherhood….HOWEVER, do NOT ever feel guilt….to some point of a lifetime of regret…for using YOUR VOICE and speaking your mind at the right time!!

~mz DeeVa~

(Follow on TwitterFacebook, or Instagram: @mzDeeVa4you) 


When She Proposes to Him, His Last Name Changes!?!

Will you marry me?” She asks.

Sure, why not?!” He answers.

Excitement and joy is in the air!

Well…for a few minutes anyway. 

Next he finds out that the proposal positioned in this way will result in his last name being changed to her last name…and suddenly he begins to second guess his willingness to go along with this seemingly unorthodox path towards marriage!

The debates are endless these days regarding single women who are proposing to single men! 

Which way is the ‘right‘ way? 

Or rather is there even a ‘right way to do it‘ anymore?

Who knows.

Times are changing. Less of tradition and more of ‘go with what feels right‘ is leading the way.  The only thing that we can be sure of is, if we decide to switch roles on the marriage proposal, all aspects of that switch remain mandatory. Including: Last name change!

Yes ladies & Gents, if SHE proposes, he will now have HER last name on their wedding day!!! 

So what will be next? 

Hmm, maybe SIDE-CHICS & SIDE-DUDES will now propose to their married lovers!!!

 I mean, why not?! If the world desires the constant flow of the unthinkable, just go all the way!!!!


Talk Back on Twitter, FB & IG: @MzDeeVa4you 

2017 More Relationship Advice for You!

Hi my loves!!

Thank you to my followers who have remained faithful and supportive across social media since 2010!!

I have been away publishing 3 additional books since we have last connected on here! Go over to Google and type in my latest: ‘Reasons She’s Excessive Over a Man’, and connect, read, purchase and Review via the Barnes and Noble or Amazon links!

My next release will be ‘His Lies, Her Power!’ on October 1, 2017. And right behind that book is another quick read, self-help relationship guide for the Reasons series: ‘Reasons to Free Yourself’.

Stay Tuned, Reconnect, Tweet Me, IG, Snap or Facebook with me, all via: @MzDeeVa4you!

Welcome Back to my WordPress/AskDeeVa page!!



Services Provided


As a personal coach I work with a wide range of clients and offer a highly personalized approach tailored to each individual. In a supportive atmosphere, I help clients attain the professional and personal growth they’re striving for.

I offer sessions, both in-person, via SKYPE (or similar) and on the phone. We will start with an initial assessment to clearly define your short and long term goals, everything from communication skills to personal acceptance. We will use these goals as a foundation to create a strategy for attaining these objectives. (SEE FORM BELOW FOR MORE)

 As a Life Coach, I specialize in the following areas:

Relationship Coaching

Communication Skills

Personal Growth

Confidence & Personal Power

Inner Peace

Achieving Balance

Organization & Productivity

Please fill out the Required form below. Please feel free to send an email and inquire about my life coaching packages in order to get optimal results at the best value. Send email to:, Subject Line: Life Coaching Inquiry.

Dee Shields. Certified Life Coach

(Participated in LC Training via Robbins-Madanes Training)